I am My Mother

Image: Ryoji Iwata, Unsplash

I worry about things I shouldn’t,

I take on responsibilities I don’t have to,
I work hard, I am called a “bitch”,

I isolate myself, never taught how to love

I am controlling, I tell others what to do and how to do it,

I lack confidence, so I hide my true self

I am dramatic, I attract attention

I am blunt, so I hurt others feelings,

I am fearful, so I can’t live for today,

I trust no one, so I rather be alone

I sacrifice my happiness, to make others smile

I wear a mask to make it seem like life is great

My mother was lost, playing too many roles

A wife, a mother, a provider, was too much for her

Her words cut so deep and wounds left open

For whatever reason, I can’t forgive my mother,

I tried but I can’t, I won’t,

but I should for a peace of mind.

No matter how far I run away,

Doesn’t matter how much money I have or how successful I become

I will always battle being my mother’s child

I am sad, hurt, lost, and confused,

Some would say move on, grow up, the past is the past

but the pain still lingers

a motherless child grieving a lost

but she’s my mother and that’s our story

I am stronger even though I feel weak,

I am wiser now that I know,

Through my mother’s mistakes,

I will break this cycle,

all for the love of my very own child